I woke up this morning and my friend Emily had emailed that her little girl was facing cancer again and this after a recent move and the birth of their 3rd child and . . .the list goes on. I just can't help thinking "Why?". Why are so many people facing wave after wave of trials. I wonder if it's just the age I've reached. Do many people find that there is a wall of pain to climb about this time in their life? Or maybe it's just a coincidence.
I've seen people in deepest depressions, trying to learn how to live life without their children, suffering with the loss of their Eternal sweethearts, and fighting against the wicked stepmother and stepsisters. I see the financial struggles, the guilty feelings of "what if", the fight for health, the lonliness of living among the lonly. The fight against addiction to everything from anger to pornography, from shopping and material possessions to medication and drugs. THe list goes on and on and on including my own last two years of moves, this insane residency, births, deaths,
family heartaches and . . .
I just can't help but think this morning. Why? I know that I'm trying my best so I can't imagine that my loving Heavenly Father is punishing us for something. Or maybe He knows I can do better. Or maybe it is something else. Maybe He knows of things to come and He's teaching me about pain and suffering so that I can be sure to reach out to others. Or maybe he's chaffing me to toughen me for more to come.
I think that two years ago if I had had any idea of what my friends, family and myself would face I would've been scared. Somehow though I've been blessed even more than I've suffered. I have been shown the tender mercies of the Lord in a way that I couldn't have understood without tasting the bitter cup the Lord has given me.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I have hope. I keep reminding myself that "You never know what you're going to get" when you wake up in the morning or when you go to bed at night. But I want hope and lots of it. I want to only see the Tender Mercies of the Lord and keep my heart soft because the suffering that comes to a heart hardened with sorrow or despair is more than I can even imagine. I look at my friend Emily, my sister in law Kim, my friend on the other side Jolene, my family and so many more and I just think about how I can become more like them and how I can use my pain to lessen theirs.
I am thankful for the all-knowing Lord and for the strength of the people that I know.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Trying Times
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5 comments:
I AM CRYING.
Life is so hard... and so scary. What were we thinking when we said we would gain a body and come to this world? I'm so glad to have great friends, like you to help me remember the important things in life. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST!
I wish I could HUG YOU!
Jess
Sarah,
You are such a great writer. I am so sorry about all the things happening to you and your family at this time. Aren't we so grateful for the gospel and to know that our Heavenly Father loves each of us and has a plan. Hard to realize it when things aren't going our way but that is when we need to have faith.
Love you and miss ya.
Jen
Tender Mercies....my new favorite thing to think about and look for when it comes to struggles, pain, worry, stress, etc. How often we forget to look for those tender mercies when if we stopped to look, we'd find them and by finding them they'd help lift us up, strengthen us and help us take another step forward.
I love that you wrote this post. How often we like to pretend that our lives our grand, perfect and happy when in fact we ALL struggle with death, addictions, sadness, debt, and other heavy and burdensome trials that often makes life hard.
Yes, these are trying times and if we all took the time to help lift someone elses' burden we could all make these trying times a little easier and make the tender mercies a little easier to see.
Thanks for giving me something to ponder and know you're not alone in this Sarah. You may be far away from the ones you love but you're not alone.
Love ya!
Just sending HUGS from the Bairds!
SO true Sarah. Thank you for that. We are so blessed to have the gospel to get us through the trials and help us see things in a different light. You are becoming stronger & stronger. I amdire you for that and think of you often. I love you tons and am so glad we are friends. Wish I could be with you physically but always am in spirit. Love you!
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